That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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