So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
