Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
