I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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