dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize