i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
