So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You're like the curious george of whores
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
