I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
