I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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