Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
