And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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