Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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