after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
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im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
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I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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