That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Randomize
