i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
