Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
