What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
