He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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