can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
