Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
