There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
