That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
