I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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