I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
