ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
