so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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