Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
