I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
