Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't deserve a penis
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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