You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
