but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
