That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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