What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
