i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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