And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Randomize
