I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
