He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
