So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize