She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i out mim tonsoeep
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