My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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