I'm gonna have a badass scar
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
