I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
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You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
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after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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