saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
