i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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