last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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