i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
