I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
