remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
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The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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