I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
