come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
