Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
