i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i dont even know how to be here
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
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I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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