I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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