Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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