Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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