she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
