god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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