he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
