atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
