My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
In other news, I just burned my penis
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
