24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
