He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
