R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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