He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
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You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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