i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
