like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
