we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
