He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
