i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
