I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
