thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
