Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
