You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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